A new dark/classical piano beat that I made, check it out!
A new dark/classical piano beat that I made, check it out!
Everything all looks the same when tragedy has made its mark
The ashen gray, the blackened clouds, the lusterless amusement parks
A cigarette disintegrates the polyester reel film
To take these memories from my mind: to egress them into a kiln
I am the excrete of this mass, the rejects of society
Like blind men walking, it’s been done, but never done as struggle-free
It’s fight or flight, it’s kill or die, it’s pick a side or be alone
I’ve been raised here for fourteen years, although I’ve never felt at home
It’s take up space, it’s eat the food, because that’s all I’ve ever done
Pursue my dreams while others weep at barrels of some loaded guns
It’s stiff and still like this film reel: grind it forward using force
To wing my way another day, consistently I change my course
And wondering how life is seen from alternating points of view
But imbecilic is my mind and my eyesight and thoughts are skewed
It’s fear pumped in by talking heads that live inside of your glass screen
As if the truth and real threat is better off if it’s unseen
I’m voiceless in this endless crowd: it doesn’t matter anymore
From those I love that I embrace, to hypocrites which I abhor
Because I’m the epitome: pretentiousness and broken dreams
Riding in this corrupt world until it sews its final seams
The days, they are
Blurred dead lines
between the border
A brain hormone
it shouts and orders
its host to become depressed.
Orders like a New World Order
To cut its life, poison its waters
And break itself, and turn to slaughter
To fill and break in every slot, her
Soothing gaze still sold and bought your
lugubrious lifeless gaze.
In endless and in bendless ways
The sorrow still deflects the rays
shot at night
Life still an obfuscate haze.
Sew it on
the cloth of fear
the sunlight clear
Of any kind
of hope or tear
Steered clear of all of this stress.
Bereft from the breathless rest
Felt upon the knifeless chest
That seems to be the only pill
That can fuel your peace and will
I am (not) okay until
I once again see serene fields
And happiness fuels pristine yields
Only found in fiction.
You are not
the only one
To hide behind
these fallen suns
Or to breathe
this kingdom come
That against the ground is pressed.
And against the sounds are stressed
The faultiness of my jurisdiction.
We’re so cute. withkissesandkerosine
If happiness is the bliss
of night times absent of my kiss
Then ideals are imitating tragedy.
If violence is the silence
of no one talking but the sirens
Then life mirrors reality.
Who will be there when everyone else leaves?
When the breeze blows and we felt the leaves
Brush our face in future autumn.
Ask this, and then if you miss
my face in those images
Then that seems to be the problem.
When no one else will hold you there
beneath the stare
Of bleak full moons and wolves-of-ware,
My arms will still be there to care
Latching on until the sun
Rises in horizon air.
I’ll always crave for your affection,
I’ll always find your beauty rare.
The city streets all drenched in doubt
Don’t let a copper blow your mind out
The empty lights saturated
With the dull, morose, and faded
eyes of the hopeless, grim but pure.
Lies of the leaders, sick with no cure.
Out from that famed microphone
Carbonating dying seas, see
that monoxide has destroyed our homes.
Like preachers teach from ancient tomes,
America’s the modern Rome.
Tragedy on track
It’s hard to speak
With a gun at your back.
“If you die for us, you’ll go to Heaven,”
But they’re using 9/11
To justify the way they lie
The bombs that fell,
The unheard cries
and silent sighs
The living Hell
The ambient and fading light
If you’re dark skinned, you’re out of place, prisms
now shined onto their racism
Cracks in sidewalks,
Black and burnt rocks
Dullness fills the smoke-filled air
I don’t know how to get to Eden
But I know that it isn’t here.
The pen by my side
The tool I confide
I turn and hide,
The endless ride
I spent this night
My dreams are vultures that have flown
And this sepulcher, it has grown
Like the hopes that I held fell
And your fair well,
In lands and times in your lush spring
The sands of time had brushed the things
Me to your attention
Launch this bullet
To my head, you pulled it
I fooled it
I’m unfit, and a misfit
to fit the ranks
Of culture, and to gain the thanks
Pedal to the floor
Kicking down the door
Drowned within the hate of laughter
And now they’re dead
Sell my death away to banks
Tell my breath to fade away
An exit final
Bumps in life like grooves in vinyl
To find and bind and prove the spine, I’ll
Break the structure of the spine
Blooming like a columbine
And this spine once did draw the line
Between the righteous and the right
'Cause they were not the same that night
The preachers killed, the heathens fell
And during their descent to Hell
I noticed that they had my face
I’m just a little outta place
Fearing fear but nothing else
Contradictions of myself
The vultures pressed all of the wealth
That once had been within myself
Stored in stores and gift shop shelves
Painting portraits of ourselves
My brain is split like cooking carrots
My thoughts are bad, but I don’t care, it
Doesn’t matter when it helps
Forced to sit in holy classes
But I’ll never join the masses
Forced to write in faithful pen,
The clock is striking 11:00 P.M.
And consciousness, it still remains
Maybe then you’ll understand.
Aw, thank you. Fuck the haters.
Because I’m a piece of shit. Next!
Shit got ugly when I became a renegade.
I sailed through oceans of blood
To come up with this serenade.
I trudged through radioactive mud
To makes the choices that I’ve made.
Things got ugly right about when
I turned around and turned you in
I yearned for something beyond this
I felt your arduant warm kiss.
An old man saw me moping on the street corner
"Crestfallen", he called me, and then I crossed the border
They kicked me out because I was too white
I argued until I saw that they were right.
So I went home and took a bath
in shoe polish, it took me back
To days when blacks would bathe in bleach
So that life would be in reach
And after that, I thought back when
I killed my neurons, cells, and then
Death turned to a leather shoe
Writing with its turqoise pen.
Leather meaning it was present
Turqoise meaning I resent it.
And I kept dreaming of rebellion
Makeshift, drunken, high batallions
I still scuff at my supporters
I should’ve stayed across the border.
The sticky-notes are coffee stained
Tainted by scribbles I made
The sorrow I have yet to slay
It returns and has its ways
As days go by, the lines get darker
Against the paper, pressing harder
Coffee sips and coffee rings
Acting like some righteous martyr
And caffeine fails to kill the sting
Have I always been this cold?
The memories are still growing old
Although I am getting older
My heart is still growing colder
But my mind is growing bolder
Impaled through the eyes
Blinded by lies
Like a religious tradition
Like cold midnight tides
Bounded by superstitions
Of serenity drawn heavenwards
But God cannot preach his final words
That is left to the hand of death
To squeeze our chest, from life bereft
And then to draw our final breath
The antithesis to the breast
Of which we had been bred and born
It crumbles down mankind forlorn
To scorn left by the devil-horns
Hidden in the religion
Erasing our petitions
Not even Jesus Christ can save
You from the words of which you’ve slaved
A holy doctrine manmade
Attempting to persuade
Us into death and hate
Like old memories of days long gone
Like raging screams of fallen sons
I wander through the faceless valley
Inquiring at the dead plant’s ralley
They speak to me
And then I see
The shattered walls of every cell
The once organic decayed Hell
And gentle breeze I knew so well
It was stripped away by the covered sky
The peace I once knew murdered by
A force stronger than you or I
Death’s cold hand wrapped around my
Unknown sense of belonging
I wish I’d known, for now I’m longing
To see your face just once again
In life we had never been friends
The dream has been stripped away
To love you and to know your face
Loved me too, my fallen kin
The only person of my brethren
And as the ravens carried you
The skies changed from their ancient hue
To never again look the same blue
that I was used to
I point my hands and scream at death
Part of me died with your breath
Like a cigarette smashed into the eyes
Of ages carved into the skies
Life is like the ash that burns
Most will fall, but all will yearn
to be inhaled, to be impaled
By happiness that is the lungs
Like serpents speaking in the tongues
which exchanged our thoughts and dreams.
I spoke to you beneath the stale
cold ground, sounds resound
You’ll find me in alleys long gone
Drifing fast like setting suns
Shifting past, this caffeine stuns
The mechanisms of my sleep
So please prepare this loaded gun
And point it at the hopes I keep.
Many and dead
The feelings of dread
These nursing home beds
Are the ending of the maze.
I’m handcuffed and sentenced
Like infinite haze
My time is not spent
helpfully, but hopelessly
The chains are broken
But I am not free
With ketamine and kerosene
We soak the world in gasoline
The matches lit and our eyes set
The time has come for fate to let
my anger out upon the doubt
That shrouds on me, and my life’s route
Burning to anger, burning to hatred
Yearning for peace, yearning to make this
Something worth living
The pain that I’m giving
Injected like H into the veins
Of junkies sitting tall and proud
Every footstep cries outloud
Like early Fall rain, it carries the pain
That drifts like snow except with thunder
That gifts the Earth, but torn asunder
Under heartache like pirate’s plunder
Dreamt like vermin to the masses
The word of God is out of their asses
Fuck you and your baptism
I voted for death within the classes
that preach of your blinded faith
I am crushed underneath the weight
Of the false hope that you gave me
Like his spirit could be freed?
Abandon me now, while you can
I am a vermin in the man
Just leave me the fuck alone
I am never coming home.
Overrun with heartache
The heart breaks
The dreams of calmness far away
I dreamt with pain under the day
The thread broke
And death spoke
Every single aspiration
Of the soul
Cleansing all the
Wrong I’ve sold.
Cars that crash
And waves that clash
The times that past
Saturated with a smile
And lives were bought
The faithful sought
A nonexistent death profile.
The hue of Her eyes,
A polluted red-orange
Regressed behind hills
Shrill voice like a door hinge.
Overrun with fallen ones
The scalding ones
Burning in the hell that I created
Yearning for skies, Heaven hadn’t waited
Trying to feel love when I am jaded
Trying to read lines but the ink is faded.
We stood together
Together we didn’t fall
By the definition of standing
We didn’t stand at all
But I like to think that we did
The past is so distant
The future is amid
Let’s ask this:
"Why does the sky burn fire and oblige
To the wretchedness of my
Menstruation turned birthing these abortions
Extortion of money, reality distortion.
Portions of our donations
Shipped away to falling nations
The nation that fell the greatest is
Mankind’s willingness to feel bliss.
And under nights when the dull lights
Empty my eyes, like gouging fights
Coffee steams and does ignite
The errors seem to be the plight.
"ERROR!" shouting, "ERROR!"
These screaming, screeching, midnight terrors
Seeking me, feeding me lies
Sinking me away from the skies
Down beyond these wretched sounds
Our love awaits in funeral gowns.
Patriotism cursed us
To fight eternally
Riots spoke to me
They said that life would be
Constantly barraging war
Decrepit, the sick and the poor
Like a whore
Opened up to faithful blindness
You will never be my highness.